Moving Clouds

30 Oct

Yesterday evening as I waited for a taxi to run home and get ready for a friend’s wedding I looked up to the sky and noticed the clouds. Yesterday here in Jerusalem it rained all morning but by 4:30pm the rain stopped but the pinkish-grey sky was filled with beautiful clouds. As I looked up to the sky I noticed the clouds moving… and they appeared to be expanding and dissipating really quickly. It felt like the clouds were coming at me in slow motion. I watched the clouds change shapes and spread out and it was such a beautiful site. I have to admit – it was a bit trippy as well.

I have been in a funk for the past 2 weeks. Different aspects in my life have been changing quickly while other parts have not been moving fast enough. I was feeling the letdown of my religious and emotional high from the High Holidays… as we all know what goes up must come down and boy did I come down hard. Rain and cloudy skies just exacerbate my melancholy. But watching the clouds break apart to see the beautiful sky last night helped me regain my balance. I saw the natural beauty that nature has to offer us and in that I was able to pay attention to the beauty in Hashem. I love how I can look at the sky and think “Mah Rabu Ma-asecha Hashem… Coolo B’chamah Asitah”.
Then at the wedding, my friend’s brother gave a speech under the Chupah – the most wonderful speech about marriage that I have ever heard. Maybe I will be able to get a copy of it and re-post parts of it here. What I got out of the speech is that essentially the bond of marriage between man and wife is the same between us and Hashem. Without the other we are lonely beings… Lonely is both a state of physical and spiritual being. Marriage is not just a commitment but a convent between the two. Just like G-d promised us in his convent to the Jews that he will never forsake us. We will have our ups and downs as a nation but that bond – that love and respect will always be there. So too in a marriage- you will have your ups and downs but if you always remember that commitment you made to your spouse … the love and respect you have for one another …. You will succeed in the essence of being married.
Watching two people make that kind of commitment to each other with pure love and joy in their eyes can lift you up. It can remind you the pureness of love and what we all should strive to find. Granted that path is not easy and there will be heartache and pain during the process but in the end I would rather be an emotional and loving human being then to deprive myself the love and joy I can feel. G-d made us emotional beings and why would I want to deny myself the wonders of G-d’s brilliance?

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