For any of you who have have met me offline you know that I love to chitchat*gab*schmooze*network*blabber*yammer or any other word to describe talkative.
But I just feel so inadequate chitchatting in Hebrew. Urgh. It is not just the words and the grammar. I feel like I just cannot express myself in any way shape or form that reflects my personality when speaking in Hebrew.
This is all bizarre for me because I didnt feel this type of language barrier when speaking in American Sign Language and that too is a totally different language than English. Granted there is a lot of body language used when speaking ASL but try flirting with your hand – it aint easy.
I dont want to stay in my English speaking bubble but I cannot stand to be in situations that I just feel so totally and utterly expressionless. What is the point in conversing if you dont feel like yourself and fear that the people listening just wont get the chance to know you?
Will I ever be a great conversationalist in Hebrew? I sincerely hope so but I dont know how much more of this feeling I can take.