“Hoovs, are you seeing anyone special?”
This is a question that is solely asked by married friends and it royally aggravates me. This post might seem like I am rambling (and I will be rambling a bit) so bear with me .
First off… if you feel you have a right to even ask that question don’t you feel that I would volunteer this type of information with you if I was dating someone? Ask me about my love life and I can share stories. Maybe you want to hear them, maybe they remind you of the “good times”, maybe you would like to live vicariously through me.
But do not ask me if there is anyone special in my life.
And btw, I am seeing lots of special people – they are called friends.
Being in a relationship is not just up to me. It takes two. Maybe I do want to be in one but until I find someone that I want to be in a relationship with, I will stay “single”. And I hate the word “single”. I am not single – I am just not in a man+woman relationship. I love others and am loved in return. So no, I am not single.
why is this always the question married folks like to ask single friends? I have way more going on in my life than just dating thankyouverymuch. I do not sit at home on the couch curled up in a ball because I am not in a relationship with a man.
Married people have this assumption that I want what they have. Most of the time, I have absolutely no desire to have what they have. Ideally I want a partner for life and I want to raise a family but I have no desire to model my life/relationships after yours. Married friends tend to forget how often they complain about their married lives to us single folks – and trust me, you are scarring me. We do not need to bond over the issues in your marriage – you dont have to make me feel “better” that i do not have to deal with the same problems since i am not married.
and i feel that the question ” are you involved” is really much deeper. It feels like married folks cannot comprehend single life and the idea that we can be happy without the bonds of marriage. That we can be “involved” with others when we do not subscribe to the notion that you can only truly be happy and feel fulfilled as a wife/husband/mother/father.
I am happy and I have love in my life.
So the next time you want to catch up with me… ask me about my life and even my love life. Just do not ask me if I am seeing anyone “special” because if you do… I cannot promise that I wont ask you a very personal and uncomfortable question in return.