Missing My Bubby Leah

5 Jun

My Bubby Leah passed away in 1998 after a short battle with lung cancer.  I was about to turn 18 years old and suddenly she was gone. I was the last person she uttered a word to and will always cherish her last words to me. They mean more to me than anything anyone has ever said to me.

Ahuvah's Bubby

I have moments once in a while of profound loss. I really miss my Bubby Leah. She was a warm and loving grandmother and we had a special bond. To be honest, she had a special bond with all of her grandchildren. I see my mother bond with her grandchildren and she reminds me so much of her mother. And I think, my nephews and nieces are so lucky.

This past Friday I drove past the cemetery where my grandmother is buried. As we exited the highway and I knew we were going to pass the cemetery, tears just started to flow from my eyes. I tried wiping them away but they kept coming and the seal was broken. I sat quietly in the back seat hoping my friends wouldnt notice the tears behind my sunglasses and I just allowed myself to weep.

How I wish she was still here … that we could have a coffee date and I could tell her all about my life. She drinking a cup of nana tea and me a cup of coffee. I can picture us together – her with her snow white hair with a scarf around her neck and bright pink lipstick. I can see her hands curled around the cup. I can picture her huge smile as she listens to my stories.

I am so thankful I had my Bubby Leah in my life for as long as I did. I just wish she was here to see me grown up. To talk to me and pass down her wisdom.

Kaufman Grandchildren

And for her to tell me to try to brush my hair – because my curly hair was/is “too messy” for my Bubby.

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