[In]Fertility

9 May

Some people call me a baby whisperer. I’ve always felt this connection to children and babies – even when I myself was a child. I can soothe almost any colicky baby – even if they do not know me. And as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a mother. It just felt this was my ultimate path. To raise children and be their mommy. Love and career didn’t come close to my desire to be a mother.

So in 2013, after 6 months of trying to get pregnant after our wedding, my deepest darkest fears were coming true. I was not getting pregnant and I might not be able to conceive or carry a baby. This sent me down a deep dark tunnel that lasted 3.5 years. Life happened around me and I was in a haze. All I could see were the pregnant women or the babies and it made me so very very sad.

Life as an adult has been relatively… easy. Smooth. Serendipitous. I moved countries, found friends, established a career and met my partner for life. Sure, there have been some bumps in the road but for the most part – it all felt like smooth sailing. I have worked hard to get to where I am today, but it didn’t feel like a challenge, it just felt natural. I knew that one day my “luck” would run out – and I just didn’t know when that would be.

So when I realized that we needed to talk to infertility specialists, it dawned on me that my luck had finally run out. And it terrified me – this was the one thing I wanted desperately and possibly could not have.

We worked with one doctor for a short time and realized we were not a fit. Then we met our current specialist (Professor Raul Orvieto from Mercaz Danieli in Givataim) and I felt like we were in good hands. I got pregnant on our first IUI and it sadly ended in a miscarriage 9 weeks later. It took us another 4 months to figure out that I had a monster polyp in my uterus which was preventing me from getting or remaining pregnant. A week after that discovery, it was removed. It took us another 10 months until we finally conceived with the help of IVF.

I’ve been pretty vocal to my friends and colleagues about our fertility struggles – it is important to normalize this topic. Getting pregnant and staying pregnant is not the easiest feat for all of us. The more we talk about it – the more people understand it and can be empathetic to their friends/loved ones/colleagues when they too go through it.

We had the love and support of our family, friends, doctors and therapists to help us through this tough journey. I have to say – I have the most supportive partner in the world and I am beyond blessed that we get to love each other every single day.

And as I finish this post,  my gorgeous little girl is waking up from her morning nap. I am so utterly grateful for the powers that be that brought her into our lives and made us a family.

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2 Responses to “[In]Fertility”

  1. Shira Werblowsky May 9, 2017 at 8:52 pm #

    So moving. Thanks for sharing your feelings with us. You’re a natural mom and Lily is so lucky to be your daughter!

  2. Ted King May 9, 2017 at 9:37 pm #

    very moving.

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