Tag Archives: country

When a Friend Comes To Visit

18 Jan

Over the last 6 years I have watched a lot of my friends pack up their lives and move away. This is a constant in my life.  People move across the world and sometimes, they move back. Or somewhere else. It would make sense that if you moved across the globe once, you are capable of doing it again (and again and again). And so it happens.

But then, sometimes they come back for a visit. And it feels like no time has passed at all.

Last night one of my close friends came back to Israel for the first time after deciding to give London another go. It has been six months since she packed up her belonging and moved back to London. Her older sister was my first flatmate in my first flat in Jerusalem. She and I became fast friends at the beginning of our journey here in Israel and our friendship has lasted 6+ years.

I took it quite hard when she told me she wanted to go back to London and try it again. I understood her need but as I looked in the mirror I got scared that one day I would utter the same words – that I wanted to give NY another go and it upset me greatly. You have to understand, I moved here without a second thought. This is my home, this is where I want to be and this is where I want to raise my family.

But when you see your friends itch to leave a country you call home, you start to wonder – what is it they all see  or feel that I don’t and will these feelings creep up on me until I feel suffocated and need to run away?

I am terrified of those feelings.  I do not consider NY home anymore (nor America for that matter).  But I have moved countries and I could do it again if I felt the need to.

Over the past 6 years a lot has changed. I am a lot more .. disappointed with the State of Israel. My heart hurts when I open up the newspapers (well websites really) and I read our current affairs. I am horrified by our politicians and our country’s policies.

And I am scared – that one day my disappointment in the leaders and society here will make me leave the one place in the world I call home.

 

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Being the Effect and Running from the Cause

16 Dec

“Rather than studying the laws of cause and effect, people spend their lives being the effect and running from the cause” – unknown

I spent a lovely shabbat with good friends in warmer Tel Aviv where the conversation of change in life took place.

Change is inevitable – but you can be prepared for it to happen or be upset when you pretend that you didnt know it was going to happen.

As an immigrant I am constantly being inundated with changes – culturally, linguistically, economically. I prepared myself for some of the changes- the changes that the former me would undergo once I arrived in Israel. I felt my absorption into my new home and country would be easier and a lot less bumps if I was aware beforehand what was going to happen to me once I arrive.

What I was not prepared for was the growth process to just….keep… on… going…..

When will it ever end? When we I ever stop evolving from a former New Yawkah and become a sabra?

Never. Period.

Unless your an immigrant you could never understand what it is like to move to a foreign country. It tests every aspect of who you are on a daily basis and you end up realizing so much more about what your made out of and the realization can be quite frightening. And even more so its mentally draining and emotionally exhausting.

Imagine living in a world where everyone you know comes from a different country and culture yet most speak English. By virtue of the fact that most my friends are native English speakers I assume wrongfully that they think and act just like me and I do this all the time. Assuming really does makes an ass out of you and me. Americans, British, Australians and even S. African’s are all influenced by their respective cultures and though we all speak English we do not all speak the same language.

Life here in Israel is way more fulfilling. I understand sociciology on a deeper personal level. I now understand what it was like for my grandparents and great-grandparents to move to a forgein country.

I now know I am ready to tackle even more that life has to throw my way and I will be conscious that both the smooth parts of the road as well as the bumps, make me a stronger and better woman in so many different ways.

But most of all – in ways that I can be proud of myself. Sometimes you just need an epiphany to realize just who you are and what you can tackle. Those moments of self discovery help me remove the shackles of fear from my spirit.